One Glance Of Your Eyes

I don't know all the particulars of why "innocent" people are allowed to suffer atrocious things... why certain people are destined to live their whole lives in a crippled, disabled body. I don't know what salvation looks like for people whose comprehension is forever limited to that of a three year old's. But I do know that some of my friends are kids such as these. And I love them so very much. And I'm learning from them and through them so very much.

One particular girl has tugged on my heartstrings a lot. She can barely speak. When she does, it is mostly monosyllabic utterances that are only understood by those who know her. She spends her whole day in a wheelchair. Her movement is limited to what her head and spastic little hands can manage. If you were to look at her with an honest mind, you would see that there is very little that she can contribute to the productivity of the world. There is very little that she will ever be able to do on her own. There is nothing she can really do to benefit me. But she has brought so much joy to my heart, and to all those around her at school. Every time she looks at me with those beautiful eyes in a way that acknowledges my existence, I feel special. Everytime she laughs at one of my lame jokes, I feel complimented. It has taken three weeks, but I now know that she recognizes, even likes, me. God has shown me so much through this, and it is humbling and so special.

A few days ago, I was helping clean this precious girl up after she vomited all over herself. I was so moved, and my eyes were fighting back the tears. I really was so struck by how much I could care for this girl, in a way that is so beyond pity. God showed me how that is the depth of His love. There is nothing we can offer Him that He could not easily do for Himself, except offer our affection and love. We are so helpless compared to God. Our inabilities far outweigh our abilities. We do not even know all that we do not know. Yet, though we are small, He has given us honor. He is moved by us. He wants to be in real relationship with us. And He loves us. Even before we loved Him... He loved us. He works so hard to gain our faith, our trust... when we are the ones who are undeserving of His. And yet, as He cleans us up from our messes, He doesn't scold us. He loves us.