Life is for Saturdays such as these.

It has been the most wonderful sort of day.

Actually, if you had asked me what sort of day it is at around four this afternoon, I probably would not have given you such an emphatic reply. But it is ending in such a delightful way, that the whole day will now be remembered with a violet-colored lens.

I woke up at 11:09, which is almost exactly eleven hours after I went to bed. Yesterday was thoroughly chaotic, and I had operated on but one hour of sleep. This day, in contrast, was all loveliness and serenity. I began it in an empty house, which was not unwelcomed. One bowl of porridge later, (actually, it was steel-cut oats.... but porridge sounds much more British, and I am feeling British in my head tonight) I decided to head out to take care of some business affairs. I finished my errands, and returned home to my dear father. I cooked dinner early, since Mom is out of town, which I am told was sensational (I myself did not get to partake, as I was at work during dinnertime.) I decided to take the risk (the weather forecast said rain) and ride the bike to work, which ended up being a good idea. Upon arriving at Plymouth, I remembered a conversation with Dad that involved "wouldn't it be nice to watch a movie and sip wine tonight..." and picked up a superb bottle of Merlot at the local wine bar (which I now vow to return to on some night... it's very cute inside.) Work went well, awkward conversations included. Sometimes we need a bit of awkwardness to let us know that life is either mortifying or hilarious-- it's all about perspective. I was slightly crestfallen to find my stirfry gone, as the house still smelled like ginger and curry. However, I decided to make the best of it, and began cooking a mean salad. It was reminiscent of something I used to buy at the cafe at Schoolcraft, and turned out beautifully. When Dad and Liz came home, we put on "Julie and Julia" and we DID sip the Merlot as we watched. The bottle is now completely empty, and I, for some reason, have the inescapable urge to blog and cook (I settled on blogging for the night, since I've already cooked two dinners today.)

Speaking of Julia, my mother received her cook book for her birthday. I am seriously happy about this. I have never been more ready to master the art of French cooking, and I have already poached two eggs. Successfully.

Tomorrow is Sunday, and I have a new dress to wear. I also have the day off. Can it be? Is it a REAL Sabbath? It makes me sad to know that, had I lived in Old Testament times, I would have already been killed around two hundred times. And that's for breaking Sabbath alone.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.... it all comes back to you. Read through Exodus this past week, and have decided to skip Leviticus after much prayer. My heart is in utter jubilation. It didn't seem appropriate for the season. What I thoroughly DID enjoy, however, was reading second Corinthians along with Exodus 34. I love that, in the middle of the regulations in Exodus, there is this AMAZING piece about Moses fellowshipping with God and coming off the mountain with a radiant face. But what I love even more is the link in Corinthians that brings the whole Exodus passage to life and applicable for us today. It is such a heavy, beautiful thing, to shine with the radiance of God. To be transformed into His likeness, in ever-increasing glory! What else is there? What could there possibly be that would one-up that? This passage has completely given me encouragement and a greater self-awareness of who we are, and what we are to the world. The veil has been torn away. What a mighty blessing.

2 Corinthians 3:12-18

Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to keep the Israelites from gazing at it while the radiance was fading away. But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away. Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Why?

I am sitting in my bedroom. From this spot, I can hear the joyous laughter from my ex-brother-in-law as he picks up the kids.

why couldn't he love my sister like that?

that's all.

And Then There Was Love

You have reached the depths.
The abyss.
The black hole of my heart.
The hardest parts of me.
The defiance.
The rebellion.
The parts that have recoiled from your touch.
The parts that have numbed themself to your warmth.
You have touched the dead and decaying limits of my soul.
And have breathed life.
Commanded life.
You have transformed punishment to pity;
Unforgiveness to compassion.
You have spoken hope over my despair.
You have reconciled every straying member.
It's already done.
It's already done.
The work is done.
I am but a recipient of this great gift.
This pure and costly gift.
Your heart breaking gift.
I told you I was worthless.
Yet you gave all you had.
Every ounce of your life-giving blood.
Knowing the price was far too high.
And that I can never repay you.

Your banner over me is love.
Your banner over me is love.
I am but a vessel of Love.

LIFE! LIFE! LIFE!

Could I be more excited?? I'm not sure it's possible.

This is only the beginning. I am but an infant who has just opened her eyes to glimpse the world for the first time. What I have seen of Heaven, of our home, is only one corner of a room within a whole universe.

I was running in Lifetime Fitness today, listening to music and feeling the emotions of adrenaline and endorphins. All of a sudden, I heard a voice in my head. "What if I told you that every single person in this room was headed for hell? Would that change your perspective at all? Your sense of urgency?" I do not often have thoughts like this, and it was sobering. I realized that, although unlikely, it was definitely possible. This experience changed my internal posture completely. I realized that, although my visit to Lifetime still had a primary purpose (ie, transforming Abby into a BEAST!) I could also use the time to intercede for these people and change the atmosphere of the place. I became more aware of Christ in me, and how each time my mouth opened to speak was another opportunity to glorify him. The potential persecution that I could face will never, ever, ever compare to the anguish of the lost.

At that moment, I lifted my eyes, and saw a man about three treadmills in front of me (there are a lot of treadmills at lifetime...) with Psalm 23 on the back of his shirt. It was encouraging, not only to know that he was a brother, but also to know that God has laid the same burning desire on the hearts of others.

Mish Mash of Awesomeness

Despite my track record, I do so love to blog.

So update: my last day of student teaching was one week ago, and life has never felt better! I can't really remember a time when I've gone from being completely strung out to having virtually no agenda in such a small period of time. My body has actually had a very difficult time adjusting... There have been days when it wouldn't let me sleep in past seven, and days when it wouldn't let me sleep at all. But overall, it has been a very heavenly week.

I am so excited for the next five months. Understatement of the decade.

So here I sit in Sweetwater's in Kerrytown; one of the only coffee shops I will travel half an hour just to visit. Weird? Totally. But it doesn't hurt that Zingerman's is across the street and Hollander's is in the same building ($100 on food and paper? OK! haha just kidding...) I finally bought a water bottle waistband so I can run more than five miles at Hines without dying of dehydration (why have drinking fountains if they're never turned on, I ask you?)

So today, I am taking the opportunity to do something that usually evaded me during the three months of my student teaching experience... I am spending REAL time with God and listening to Him and really gleaning everything out of the experiences he's leading me into. It's so wonderful.... I have missed this part of my life so much. The part of life that is LIFE itself! I will share some of what I've been processing.

So as I shared from my last post (which made me laugh, the tone was so sarcastic and stressed out!) my car died on the side of 275. What followed was a true expression of God's goodness. Firstly, he showed me how unrelenting my own father was in finding me a new car. This was such an expression of love, and one that I will never forget. I was completely helpless in the car search myself-- I was just starting to teach my unit (three hours a day to a hundred freshmen... for three weeks. it was a big deal.) But my dad spent every free minute he had looking for a car for me. And not just A car, but the PERFECT car. One that I could drive and enjoy for the next five or ten years. Sure enough, my dad's persistence paid off. AND... my Father provided the perfect car! Private sale, in a Howell subdivision that my dad happened to be in one day. It's a beautiful 05 Honda Civic that's in like new condition. Rear spoiler. Fancy pants sound system. It's my dream car. I feel so cared for, and I didn't have to do a thing to get it. That's provision for ya... It's good to be a daughter!

Yesterday, my mother came home from a doctor's appointment. She had been to the doc's to see about an eye infection. It was in her "good eye".. the one she doesn't have trouble seeing out of. She has long thought she had macular degeneration in her "bad eye", because her mother does and it has slowly caused her mother to be almost totally blind. My mom has not been to the doctor's to confirm that that is the condition she has, because of anxiety and not wanting to confirm the worst--- macular degeneration is behind the eye and is not treatable. We have prayed many times for my mother's eyes to be totally healed and that she would have her sight for the rest of her life. Anyways, while at the doctor's with this infection, she had her other eye checked. He said that she does have very mild macular degeneration, but that it wasn't bad at all. He said that the reason she couldn't see was because of a macular HOLE... which sounds a lot worse, but is actually treatable! He said that if she got surgery (which she will) part, if not all, of her vision will be recovered! Praise God! We wept together for a while, because this has been a huge cause for concern for a very long time. She is still fairly anxious about the procedure, and we have to continually encourage each other and speak truth to each other. God has provided a solution! It's so awesome! We would really appreciate your prayers for this matter.

So in my devotions, I'm in Exodus. Today felt like just a list of rules. I hate rules. I know they are important, and I follow them (usually) but I prefer being in environments that are a bit more unstructured and ungoverned. But as I read through the 22nd chapter, I remembered that the rules were an indication of the nature of God. I saw justice and love. The rules were set so that people would be cared for. The penalties were so high to show just how serious certain behaviors were to God. He cannot tolerate to live in the presence of sin. In many cases, offenders were even put to death. It seems so brutal, but think of the social ramifications. For example, one of my favorite parts is 22:16-17. It speaks of the price a man must pay for seducing a virgin. Look at who is supposed to take responsibility-- the man. So many times, society these days tells women that men are unable to control themselves, and if you give in, it's YOUR fault. But this was not God's model of restraint. It is man's responsibility to pursue, and to do it with purity and self-control.

Also, verse 21 is awesome. "You shall never mistreat a stranger nor oppress him, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt." Think about that one next time you talk badly about immigrants for taking advantage of our health system or not "speaking American."

Speaking of talking badly about people who you shouldn't-- how about verse 28? "You shall not revile God, nor curse a ruler of your people." There is such HONOR that is attached to the position of headship.... notice that it doesn't say, "don't curse your ruler if he is doing a good job."

There are more... much more. I couldn't believe how much I took away from this chapter. I love that God says that his "wrath will turn hot" against those who afflict the orphans and widows. Not because of what he will do to the persecutors, but because of what it says about His ginormous HEART for those who are unloved, uncared for, voiceless.

It is so good to remember that we are under grace and are not bound by these rules any longer! WE ARE FREE! We don't have to live life as a performance in which we need to score 100%. But, it's also so good to look at these rules and to understand that they were set in place for a reason. It is good to look at them and see why they are good, and why Holy Spirit will guide us to keep them even now.

Looking back on the past few months, I am thankful that I'm not bound to that lifestyle forever. It was hard, and I didn't have hardly any time for the people and things that I love. I'm glad that I came through it, and I also had many good experiences that showed me Christ rising up inside me and being victorious as He always is. But I know there were many days that I forgot the truth for a moment. There were many days that I forgot who I was. It's a relief to know that I am not myself on my worst day. Nor am I myself on my best day. I am not even the sum of all my days, both good and bad and whatever. I am a new creature, who is found in Christ and who has been grafted into His body. There do I find my identity.