Known and Loved.

This week has been so loaded. It feels like what I share in this blog is just a small portion of all the things that God has been showing me. He has been coming to me this week as the Bridegroom; he speaks to me out of intimacy and love. This has not been the case through much of the past year, where I have been taken by his kingly majesty, his wonderful fathering ways and his fear-inspiring power. But now he sees me, so vulnerable in my places of weakness and humanity, and he lets me know that I am never alone. I am, indeed, surrounded by the very being of Love. Even when I feel pushed aside or taken for granted by the people in my life (from time to time) I know that He is always available, always waiting and eager for me to come and talk with him. I know there is a special place in His heart just for me. Each of us is loved just as greatly, and yet loved in a unique way, as we are unique people.

Add to this knowledge the fact that I am so far from deserving of His love (yes... I very much know this) and it becomes something new and beautiful and messy and moving. There are no words for the way God wrecks me for Himself. There is no other Love. He loves me for my heart and in spite of my heart. He is ravished by us, by the light of our eyes and the aroma of our prayers. He chooses us, knowing that we have been unfaithful. Knowing that we will never measure up. He knows me. He knows me better than I know myself, and he is never surprised by anything that I do or say or think. Oh, that I should know him as it promises in Hosea 2!

Even today, I came to Him and lamented a situation that was causing me pain. I was in a lot of conflict as to what to do and whether I should argue or submit to an opinion that I don't agree with. But he came to me and simply said, "You told the truth. You chose the fruit of your new nature, truth, rather resort to the deceit that has been broken off of you. I know that was hard. Well done." And then the peace surrounded me and I fell apart in His arms.

I am so undone.

Hosea 2:19-20

I will betroth you to Me forever;

Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice,

in lovingkindness and mercy;

I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness,

and you shall know the Lord.

You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same/ You are amazing, God.