Covenant Love.

Well, I'm back from Jesus Culture and all the craziness of life has melted away (for the most part.) This is actually going to be an unusually unstructured week, and I'm glad for it.

Life is, yet again, taking a new turn of seasons. It's so rapid that I barely have time to fathom everything. I am learning to truly trust God in decision making, because I haven't the time myself to weigh all the consequences before needing to make a choice. It's a good thing. Looking back, I can see the intense wisdom in all the choices I believe he led me to make. He lives life so much better than I.

Jesus Culture was.... unreal. I have literally hours' worth of stories, which is impressive, coming from a three day conference. God did so very much in my life. He is so awesome. I can't even get into all the details from the conference, otherwise I'd be writing forever. If you want to know more than what I share in this blog in the next few days, please contact me and we will have coffee or something. God is doing some heavy, heavy stuff these days. Don't be out of the know. We are called to be watchmen in the night.

Tonight, I will share with you about one of the areas that God has really been speaking to me and transforming my life and views. It is in the area of relationships. During the Thursday, God began to break some soul ties... you know, even when a relationship itself isn't bad or impure, some level of dysfunction can occur when you are outside of the perfect will of God for your life. I recognized this and was moved to action. Actually, it was awesome. And is awesome. I am so thankful for all the people God has planted in my life.

In worship on Friday, I was so moved during worship. I was so thankful and aware of the freedom in Him when you are moving and living according to His will. So I began to dialogue with Him, and asked God what he wanted for me in this next season, and how I can best serve Him. I would do anything, I said. Anything.

He always honors that plea. Immediately, I felt a burning jealousy in my heart. I have never experienced this. God told me it was how He feels about me. This love that is from Him is not airy fairy and full of fluff. It is intense. It burns like fire. It is jealous. Love wants me entirely for Himself. I couldn't even stand in the presence of Jesus, experiencing the Love like that. I realized how short I come in my relationship with Him, even at the best of times. He craves our full devotion, our whole heart and being. In that instant, I knew what He was asking of me. And I was more than ok to give it. I wrote about the experience in my journal, which is how I will explain it on here:

"God has called me into covenant with himself... we are going deeper in relationship as He takes me to even greater places and prepares me for living out my destiny. I am called to the honor of singleness for the next year and a half-- until my college graduation and twenty-fourth birthday. I am very convinced that this is God's best for my life. We are in love, we are in covenant. His chosen man for me will wait and is waiting even now."

It is a great relief to know that I can shut the radar off and just be with Christ for a while. This is truly the best thing I can do, both for God and myself. I have done this before, for shorter periods, and it has been a wonderful growing time. Singleness is something that I have become very satisfied with, and even protective of. It is not something to be ashamed of at all. It is glorious in ways that Paul recognized, and few people today do. It is so wonderful to find your completion in Christ alone. To seek love in Christ. To have the freedom to spend time with friends and family, and to nurture and encourage their relationship with Jesus. I am excited for how He is going to use this time!!!!