Mish Mash of Awesomeness

Despite my track record, I do so love to blog.

So update: my last day of student teaching was one week ago, and life has never felt better! I can't really remember a time when I've gone from being completely strung out to having virtually no agenda in such a small period of time. My body has actually had a very difficult time adjusting... There have been days when it wouldn't let me sleep in past seven, and days when it wouldn't let me sleep at all. But overall, it has been a very heavenly week.

I am so excited for the next five months. Understatement of the decade.

So here I sit in Sweetwater's in Kerrytown; one of the only coffee shops I will travel half an hour just to visit. Weird? Totally. But it doesn't hurt that Zingerman's is across the street and Hollander's is in the same building ($100 on food and paper? OK! haha just kidding...) I finally bought a water bottle waistband so I can run more than five miles at Hines without dying of dehydration (why have drinking fountains if they're never turned on, I ask you?)

So today, I am taking the opportunity to do something that usually evaded me during the three months of my student teaching experience... I am spending REAL time with God and listening to Him and really gleaning everything out of the experiences he's leading me into. It's so wonderful.... I have missed this part of my life so much. The part of life that is LIFE itself! I will share some of what I've been processing.

So as I shared from my last post (which made me laugh, the tone was so sarcastic and stressed out!) my car died on the side of 275. What followed was a true expression of God's goodness. Firstly, he showed me how unrelenting my own father was in finding me a new car. This was such an expression of love, and one that I will never forget. I was completely helpless in the car search myself-- I was just starting to teach my unit (three hours a day to a hundred freshmen... for three weeks. it was a big deal.) But my dad spent every free minute he had looking for a car for me. And not just A car, but the PERFECT car. One that I could drive and enjoy for the next five or ten years. Sure enough, my dad's persistence paid off. AND... my Father provided the perfect car! Private sale, in a Howell subdivision that my dad happened to be in one day. It's a beautiful 05 Honda Civic that's in like new condition. Rear spoiler. Fancy pants sound system. It's my dream car. I feel so cared for, and I didn't have to do a thing to get it. That's provision for ya... It's good to be a daughter!

Yesterday, my mother came home from a doctor's appointment. She had been to the doc's to see about an eye infection. It was in her "good eye".. the one she doesn't have trouble seeing out of. She has long thought she had macular degeneration in her "bad eye", because her mother does and it has slowly caused her mother to be almost totally blind. My mom has not been to the doctor's to confirm that that is the condition she has, because of anxiety and not wanting to confirm the worst--- macular degeneration is behind the eye and is not treatable. We have prayed many times for my mother's eyes to be totally healed and that she would have her sight for the rest of her life. Anyways, while at the doctor's with this infection, she had her other eye checked. He said that she does have very mild macular degeneration, but that it wasn't bad at all. He said that the reason she couldn't see was because of a macular HOLE... which sounds a lot worse, but is actually treatable! He said that if she got surgery (which she will) part, if not all, of her vision will be recovered! Praise God! We wept together for a while, because this has been a huge cause for concern for a very long time. She is still fairly anxious about the procedure, and we have to continually encourage each other and speak truth to each other. God has provided a solution! It's so awesome! We would really appreciate your prayers for this matter.

So in my devotions, I'm in Exodus. Today felt like just a list of rules. I hate rules. I know they are important, and I follow them (usually) but I prefer being in environments that are a bit more unstructured and ungoverned. But as I read through the 22nd chapter, I remembered that the rules were an indication of the nature of God. I saw justice and love. The rules were set so that people would be cared for. The penalties were so high to show just how serious certain behaviors were to God. He cannot tolerate to live in the presence of sin. In many cases, offenders were even put to death. It seems so brutal, but think of the social ramifications. For example, one of my favorite parts is 22:16-17. It speaks of the price a man must pay for seducing a virgin. Look at who is supposed to take responsibility-- the man. So many times, society these days tells women that men are unable to control themselves, and if you give in, it's YOUR fault. But this was not God's model of restraint. It is man's responsibility to pursue, and to do it with purity and self-control.

Also, verse 21 is awesome. "You shall never mistreat a stranger nor oppress him, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt." Think about that one next time you talk badly about immigrants for taking advantage of our health system or not "speaking American."

Speaking of talking badly about people who you shouldn't-- how about verse 28? "You shall not revile God, nor curse a ruler of your people." There is such HONOR that is attached to the position of headship.... notice that it doesn't say, "don't curse your ruler if he is doing a good job."

There are more... much more. I couldn't believe how much I took away from this chapter. I love that God says that his "wrath will turn hot" against those who afflict the orphans and widows. Not because of what he will do to the persecutors, but because of what it says about His ginormous HEART for those who are unloved, uncared for, voiceless.

It is so good to remember that we are under grace and are not bound by these rules any longer! WE ARE FREE! We don't have to live life as a performance in which we need to score 100%. But, it's also so good to look at these rules and to understand that they were set in place for a reason. It is good to look at them and see why they are good, and why Holy Spirit will guide us to keep them even now.

Looking back on the past few months, I am thankful that I'm not bound to that lifestyle forever. It was hard, and I didn't have hardly any time for the people and things that I love. I'm glad that I came through it, and I also had many good experiences that showed me Christ rising up inside me and being victorious as He always is. But I know there were many days that I forgot the truth for a moment. There were many days that I forgot who I was. It's a relief to know that I am not myself on my worst day. Nor am I myself on my best day. I am not even the sum of all my days, both good and bad and whatever. I am a new creature, who is found in Christ and who has been grafted into His body. There do I find my identity.